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Rules to The Game

6/26/2013

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    You know, in life there are rules. Some are written while others are unwritten. You have given rules and understood rules and implied rules and so on and so forth. With that being said, all rules are not meant to be broken and most are necessary to follow. You can’t win the game by half assing and cutting corners. You may get away with cheating, but you even have to adhere to those rules. My point is, learn the rules to the game and play it right.
    I know what you’re thinking. SP is condoning cheating? NOT AT ALL!! I am totally against cheating in all shapes, forms and fashions. Aside from that, I am not against playing the field while single. I just think that if you’re going to play the game, play it right.

Rule 1: Be honest. You do not have a commitment to anyone at this point. You are having fun and exploring your options. Come out flat and let your partners know you do not want anything serious right now and that you are talking to other people. You should also let them know, if and when sex occurs, if you are having sex with your other partners. Let’s just be smart about this.

Rule 2: Keep your relationships separate. There is no need to share names or talk about what you do with the other people you are talking to. What for? Again, no commitment means no obligation to unveil unnecessary information.

Rule 3: Play your role. So there are some people who get mad because someone they were talking to got into a relationship with someone else or plays them when they thought they were a little more serious than what they initially were. Then you have some who can’t figure out why the other fell hard for them and is starting to act like they are in a relationship. If you play your role, you won’t have to worry about this. Do not overdo your part. Spending too much time, arguing (like what are you arguing about), being overly sensitive and attentive and just acting like a boyfriend or girlfriend would. You’re sending mixed signals and it’s going to take you where you don’t want to go.


Rule 4: Communicate. Like with any relationship, communication is important. You have nothing to hide, lie about or a reason to lead someone on. Be upfront. If you become more serious with someone else, end up expecting a baby or something (STD’s/HIV) just let the other person (people) know. Don’t just pop out the blue with something and expect the other person to a) be cool about it or b) not find out.

Rule5: Stay out of your feelings. Look, don’t mess up your adventure by getting your feelings involved. Have thick skin! You may get told something you don’t like, see or hear something you don’t like. Appreciate the honesty and keep it moving. Your feelings will only mess things up, unless they are mutual, and then you will be the one stuck because you are in it by yourself.

Rule 6: Have fun. This is a time that should be stress free and hopefully helps you find out what you want when you finally decide to be in a committed relationship. If you’re giving stress or someone is stressing you out then it is time to move on because someone went left when you guys were supposed to be going right. Just chill out and live.

    Adhering to these rules should keep you in the game. Playing the field shouldn’t be hard so don’t make it. There is no need to complicate anything that is simple. It’s the summer time so hopefully this will help someone out and make this season more enjoyable. Tata for now!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Sincerely,
                                                                                    SP

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****These photos were borrowed from http://occupiedandpreoccupied.wordpress.com/2012/03/03/the-first-rule-of-engagement-or-how-routine-can-work-wonders-for-artists/ and http://allfacebook.com/5-facebook-strategies-pros-need-in-their-play-books_b63108
respectively. Please click on the pictures to be redirected to the sites.
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Checkpoint

6/18/2013

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    Let’s sit down and have a little chat. Do you get jealous over little things? Check your love’s phones reading texts, looking at pictures and scrolling down the call log? Is it an issue when someone from their past contacts them? Do you always have to know their exact agenda? Do you pay close attention to background noise when you two talk on the phone? If you answered yes to any of these and do other things that you wouldn’t normally do, then please proceed to the security check point. You may be insecure.

    Wait, wait, wait. Before you jump down my throat, I know that sometimes situations call for you knowing your boos plans for the day and there may be a very good reason why the past needs to stay in the past, but really think about how you react during these times and what you would do if you ever found anything. Are you looking for something? You will find that this is not attractive and is a very big turn off. If you have to know every little thing about your girl or man then you might want to reconsider your relationship. No one should have to worry in a relationship or be unhappy. If you are, leave . It is always important to communicate as well. I can’t say it enough. If you suspect something, bring it to their attention in the most respectful way and believe what they tell you. A relationship without trust is not a relationship at all. If you two have trust issues, you have to try to work those out. While working on the issues, you should give each other the benefit of the doubt that all is well and that they are being faithful.


    Another place you may want to turn is to yourself. Is there something you are unhappy about with yourself that makes you think your significant other may want to sneak around on you? No one is perfect, so don’t think that you have to be, but you should always remember that anyone can take your spot. Yes you have won and their heart is yours. You shouldn’t have to worry about someone else coming for your spot, but it only takes one slip up…..ok maybe a little more than one, but you get the point. And for that reason, you should always be on your game. Make sure you are doing what you have to do to make sure you keep your love. Do what you did to get them! Hair done, dressed nice, be considerate, attentive, listen, and keep everything in tip top shape. Life happens, so no one should be expecting to wake up to a model every day. That doesn’t mean that everyday has to be a down day either. Spice it up, keep the fire going and most importantly, have confidence that you are where they want to be. It is your most attractive feature so flaunt it proudly, you are perfectly imperfect and they love it!

    I am preaching to you guys about not being insecure, letting go of insecurities and staying on point, but I need to also address the point of not giving your girl or man a reason to feel that way. There is no need to be sneaky, hide things, lie, put your man or girl down in any way or whatever else you can do to make someone suspicious. You already know what makes them tick or what would make them suspicious so let’s just skip the arguments and interrogations by not doing those things. The summer is here and it’s time to hang out, chill and just have fun. Giving them reasons to suspect the worst or feel down about themselves ultimately just makes it worse for you. Don’t kill your vibe!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                           All the best,
                                                                      SP

****This photo was borrowed from http://cph.dk/CPH/UK/Newsroom/News/2006/securityvideo.htm . Please click on the photo to be redirected.
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On My Level

6/12/2013

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    In a perfect world, we probably all want the same things in a relationship. Someone who will love us and only us, treats us right, is attentive and can provide for us..amongst other things. When does it shift from wanting someone who can provide for you and someone you can live off of? When getting into a relationship, should you expect the other person to have more than you?
    Putting everything aside, I think not. You cannot request more than you can give because if we all had the same mentality then someone would always come up short handed. Although I suggest not requiring someone to have more than you, that is not to say that they need to come to the table empty handed. I just think that the first things that need to be addressed aren’t materialistic. You should always look for something in someone that will compliment you and give you what you cannot give yourself. No one wants a leech though so you should be able to give something back in return.
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    Granted, having someone who can help you out financially and buy you everything your heart desires would be wonderful! Who doesn’t like to be spoiled? But you should write down your list of requirements and think about what is a deal breaker and what is negotiable. For instance, because you have a master’s degree, does your significant other have to have one as well? If you bring in six figures, is it ok if they are only bringing in close to five? What about kids, vehicle, residence, the way they dress or how their hair is? Now compare all of that to their loyalty, honesty, attentiveness, humor, sensitivity, patience, beliefs, values, morals, religion and so forth. Organize your standards by importance and carefully think about what really matters. I think that a mature mind will see the things that can be negotiated or thrown away all together. If not, maybe you’re just not at that stage in your life where you can see the things that matter more. By no means am I telling anyone to settle, I’m just saying be realistic and think about what you really need in a significant other. Unfortunately, fairy tales only exist in films and on paper.

                                                                                                                                                                                Yours truly,
                                                                                                                                                                                          SP


****These photos were borrowed from http://www.zazzle.com/warning_high_maintenance_hat-148760977613526438 and http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/16158519-whiskey-beach -couple




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If It's Broke, Fix It

6/5/2013

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    You are dating this amazing person! Great convo, awesome dates, they are caring, great listeners, keeps you laughing, great to snuggle with and can cook their tail off! Pretty much, they are everything you have ever wanted, but of course, there is a flaw. The sex really isn’t on point. So, what do you do? Is sex that important that it can make or break a relationship? Let’s pump the breaks before someone speeds off into a ditch they cannot get themselves out of!
    Honestly, sex is wonderful. I obviously am very into it since a majority of my posts are about it. I do, however, believe that it is not a deal breaker.  Your relationship should not be built on sex. If it is, you have a problem. If this is not a relationship, but simply a friend with benefits…then scroll down and read my article “Friends with Benefits, Not a Benefit.”  The beautiful thing about someone who doesn’t sex you the way you like is that you can teach them how! There are so many ways to do this and so many great toys out there to help with this issue. Let’s take this one step at a time. If I miss a step, let me know. I am sure I can think of a solution for that too!
    Let’s say you are dealing with someone who has a horrible stroke. Before you approach them and flat out call them out on their “down fall”, try coaching them.  This is a great opportunity to try new positions. By doing this, you can allow better access into your pleasure zone. So sideways (leg on shoulder, they are stooped down and come under), from the back (back arched, if not your entire front flat down with butt hiked, throw it back please), riding from the front or back or missionary with your shoulders touching your knees and their hands pressing down on your inner thighs as if to flatten you out (Yes!!!) are a few of the positions that allow wonderful access. Once they are in, talk to them in your most sexy voice. Tell them when they are doing a great job, where you want them to move, when you want them to stay and it is ok to grab and squeeze! The same goes for someone who isn’t good at riding. Feedback is your friend.
    If buddy is dealing with issues staying hard or he’s cuming too fast, the first thing you guys can do is masturbation. You can play with yourself while they watch and while they are watching you, they can release one. Another tip is oral sex before intercourse. What both of these allow is for the first nut to be released which is usually the quickest. When it comes to staying hard, well there are a couple of things. One thing is a penis ring. The penis ring acts the same as a rubber band acts on your finger except the penis isn’t going to turn purple fast and fall off. The penis ring, when the penis is erect, stops the flow of blood which keeps you erect longer. You can have sex with this on.


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    Sometimes the problem is that the man can’t stay aroused or the moisture is gone which can lead to a limp penis. To help with this, both staying moist and staying aroused, you can try lubricant or foreplay. There are some lubricants that double as massage oil so you won’t feel like it is a waste to buy or be ashamed. Oral sex, kissing and sucking spots, playing with sex toys, grinding, fingering, teasing and so forth are a few of the quickest foreplay techniques that you can do to keep it moist. You can do this while in the act, before the act or simply stop the act for additional foreplay.
    I recommended oral sex as a solution, but what if it is the problem? Some people are simply horrible at it and some just don’t really like to do it. While you are getting oral, just like with stroking or riding, give the person feedback and let them know what you like. Harder, softer, nibble, no teeth, more tongue, less jaw, no hands, squeeze, right there, go back, don’t move, and so on and so forth. There is even edible paint and crayons that you can mark on your body to isolate your target areas that they should focus on. I think taste can have an affect too. I have mentioned in previous posts that what you eat affects how you taste (your juices and ejaculate), but it can also be the reason why someone wants to go down. For the vjj, you can play around with having candy in your mouth while you eat it, using edible toppings and lube or drizzle a little juice over them (away from the entrance and nothing citrus. Ain’t nobody got time for that). For the penis, you can actually use the same things with the addition of fruit. For instance, you can use citrus and cut a hole in the middle big enough for the penis. Insert the penis and massage the fruit up and down as your mouth goes up and down the shaft.
    I think I touched on all of the problem areas, but please feel free to ask me questions if I missed something. Throughout this entire process, good communication is key and you always have to put forth some effort before you call a quits. It’s not worth giving up a good thing because one part needs to be fixed….you feel me?

                                                                                                                                                                                Sincerely,
                                                                                                                                                                                       SP

***These photos were borrowed from http://www.thehabitualsalesman.com/pages/Free_tools_of_The_Trade_Home and http://static.appannie.com/app/android/com.kamasutra/- respectively. Please click on the photos to be redirected to these sites.


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    Author

    I am a journalist with a passion for writing and helping others. Views expressed are solely mine unless other wised mentioned. They are my opinions and are not always facts.
    S.P-Smudge Proof


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