Have you ever climbed to the top of a roller coaster ride and looked down only to discover that you never should have climbed that far up? What options do you have now? You can’t make everyone move aside to let little ole you down. You are not on the right side to exit. Your only option is to go through with it now since you are up there. It’s like sexual partners. The more people you have sex with (obviously), the higher your number will go. You cannot
change your number, they all count –I will talk about exceptions later-and there is no way to come down. You just have to get over it and live with your number! Look at it as a lesson learned: don’t go up so high knowing you’re afraid of heights!
So, I’ve been asked, how much is too much in relations to sexual partners. Well, let’s analyze this carefully. I think that depends on a number of things. One of those things is the age at which you lost your virginity and the age you are now. I consider those things because if you lost it at 17 and
you are now 21 and have slept with more than 10 then there might be a problem. 10 is high for my liking, but I say either 2 or 3 mates a year are probably acceptable. That is not to say that for 4 years you should have slept with 12 guys, no. Within those 4 years, a steady mate or boyfriend should have been obtained. Notice I only mentioned a boyfriend. That brings me to my next situation to be considered: gender.
I’m a little biased on this one. I think that it is ok for guys
to sleep with more women than vice versa. I think this is ok because of the society we are in and have been raised in. Men have always been more promiscuous than women, with the exception of porn stars, prostitution and things of the like. To me, it kind of goes back to that key saying about how one key for many locks is a master key
but many keys for one lock is a shitty lock (not sure of the originator). Not to say I am for male whores, I think that they need to keep it in their pants, but it is worse to me
when a female is whore.
I also consider how many were within a relationship and how many were with a “friend”. Say all of them were with “friends”….you should probably reconsider some things. I, mean if you are one who does not like relationships then I guess your number can be justified and it is understandable. If you are trying to obtain a relationship and they turn out to be shit heads, then your strategy
for reeling them in needs to be revised. Sex won’t make a person stay. It may make them come back, but they won’t stay. You have had sex with lots of friends because you didn’t make them work for it in the first place OR you did some bad misjudgment a couple of times and should try to learn from past mistakes. It is ok to take things slow. Just as well, it is ok to have fun…but there does come a
time when you have to be more responsible and end
the fun in some parts of your life.
My exceptions to the rules are of course rape and molestation. No one wants to remember those incidents and count them as a cherished memory. I also wouldn’t count anything that is not penetration. So that means no oral, digital (and for females) or anal is counted in my book so that should bring your number down a bit (it’s a
P.S.: you can only count a person once. Doubling back does not count as an extra person!
Therefore, 2-3 a year is ok but number 3 or 4 needs to become more than a friend and lover.
I think every female comes to a point in their life where they feel that they just want a friend with sexual benefits. There are plenty of reasons why it leads to this, but sometimes ladies just want to scratch that itch and possibly have someone to spend a little time with. What happens when you feel that you are not benefiting from the benefits? Let’s rephrase: What happens when the sex is horrible?
Normally,within a relationship, I would advise people to work on the relationship. Sex is not a priority in a relationship and you could always tell this partner what you want and how you want it. Is it even worth that much with your cuddy buddy? Some may be caught between taking time to mold their friends to their benefit while others may argue that you should simply move on and find someone else who is already skilled.
If you decide that you should teach them how to stick and move then go ahead. I don’t think I would waste my time trying to teach anybody I am not exclusively involved with how to get me off when I’m sure someone else out there knows exactly how I would like it done. You can’t look at these friends as your soul mate or significant other. You became friends with benefits for a reason and if the agreement between you two cannot be upheld then it is time to make the agreement null and void! Some might argue that they do not want to have so many notches under their belt. They might say that this may make them promiscuous or what not. Let me explain my opinion on that. You are what you believe you are and not what other people say you are. Sex becomes a problem when it is frequent, in exchange for something and affects your life. If these aren’t issues you face then don’t worry about how many people you have slept with, only worry about being safe. Now that that is taken care of, you need pleasure too! It is quite easy for a guy to have an orgasm opposed to a female and I am in full support of both parties leaving satisfied. If your friend’s benefit package isn’t satisfying you then it is time to shop around and check out the competitors packages.
I am a journalist with a passion for writing and helping others. Views expressed are solely mine unless other wised mentioned. They are my opinions and are not always facts.