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What Are You Dating For?

7/16/2014

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        There are some people who go into life with a mission and some who go just to live. This is how people go into relationships as well. There are people who date for marriage, for fun, for love, for a season, and for no reason at all. Before we get into all of that, what does it mean to date anyway? What is the difference between dating and talking? Is there a difference?


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        There are three levels to a relationship. The entire thing is a relationship per say, but it starts with talking. This is literally what it sounds like. Conversing with a person you share an intimate interest with to see what, if anything, you want to do with this person. You get the feel for the person and see if you would like to go out in public with them, if you two will be just friends, if it’s only a sexual attraction, if it can be more, and so forth. If you both decide that it just might be a stronger attraction between the two then the dating usually begins.

        Dating, derived from date according to my assumptions, is when the relationship is moved from the phone and possible house visits to more public settings, or dates. There is more conversation, of course, but this tests your toleration for one another and you see if you like the vibes you’re feeling and how you two interact with one another. Dating is a big step. Talking can be just as big and has become bigger as the years have passed and younger generations have decided to spend more time getting to know one another outside of the public view before or instead of dating, but dating can put everything at a standstill. Some relationships do not go beyond dating. Two people enjoy one another's company, you’re feeling each others vibes, and you guys are completely contempt with just having fun and enjoying what it is you two are doing. Things may not be too serious between you guys, there may be other priorities that prevent you from being more serious, you could just want someone to chill with from time to time, or you may be letting life take its own course and you guys have decided to go with it. Whatever the reason may be, dating is where it is at for right now, and that is fine. Not everyone goes into relationships with goals. Dating can be the spot you feel comfortable at now and it could also be the hold up toward moving forward.  Some people get stuck here when one person thinks things are great and the other wants more or less. Some people date for the purpose of marriage and if they can’t see themselves being serious with you or marrying you then dating may be where it all ends.  In the case that the two agree on more, a title is usually established indicating that things are serious between you two.

        There has always been a title for what you have going on. The title could be friends, friends with benefits, or some pet name that signifies to one another what it is between you guys. The title I am referring to that indicates something more serious is girlfriend/boyfriend, man/girl and so forth. While this may be ones confirmation, this can be another stop in the path. Just because there is a title established, it doesn’t mean that marriage is in the future. Some people want someone that they can build a common law, so to say, life with. Boyfriend and girlfriend could be the end with some, while marriage maybe what others are gunning for and the reason why they date. What the ultimate goal is should be determined while talking and dating. I know some of us have age limits on some goals, but realistically, marriage and relationships do not have limits. Minds can change and you may find yourself wanting more or less from someone. It seriously just depends on the person’s wants and needs at that moment in their life. “Different strokes for different folks.”

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Happy Dating,
                                                                                                                                                            SP

                                                                                                               

****The first photo was borrowed from http://www.fiverr.com/ctadiarca/create-a-romantic-date-night-in-your-area . Please click on the photo to be redirected to the site.
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    I am a journalist with a passion for writing and helping others. Views expressed are solely mine unless other wised mentioned. They are my opinions and are not always facts.
    S.P-Smudge Proof


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