since you were old enough to know what a wedding was? (Immediately raises hand)
This is the day that we have waited for. I’m pretty sure the men have imagined
their bachelor parties so they could have an excuse to have a guys night out
that consists of lots of liquor and strippers. The question is not “when is the
right time to think about marriage?”, but “when is it the right time to bring
this up in a relationship?” I switched it around because, as you can see, you
have always thought about it, the groom/bride just changes.
I think the time frame is different for everyone, but what is the same is where you are at in your life and where you are within your relationship. I was told that before I make drastic decisions, I need to be satisfied with where I am in life. Things like a career and money, or any other things that you could be unsatisfied with. Another thing that you need to be happy with is the person you are with. There should be nothing you want to change or improve. All quirks and imperfections should be perfect to you. You don’t want to end up with somebody that you ultimately wasn’t satisfied with or wanted to change. For instance, they are unemployed, sloppy, antisocial, a mama’s boy, daddy’s girl, bad sex, judgmental, overbearing, or shares different views on things that you highly value. Anything that you feel like you can’t ignore or live with is a sign that you shouldn’t bring up the idea of marriage in the relationship. If things improve (because they wanted to, not you) and you become more than satisfied or content, then I think marriage could be considered. If you can figure this out within a year, then more power to you. Personally, I think it takes longer than a year and maybe longer than two todecide if this is what you want for the rest of your life.
I am personally for shacking up. I feel that this helps you feel a person out. Some things can’t be told about a person, but instead has to be learned. What happens if you get married and it turns out that you simply cannot tolerate your partner or decide to sleep in separate rooms early into the marriage? Let’s not end up in divorce court if we can prevent it before marriage. If shacking is against your beliefs, then maybe staying the night with them from time to time can help you figure out if youcan handle living with them. You want to do this frequently, but not too frequently. You can try just weekends or every other weekend. This way, it becomes so normal to you and your partner that you become comfortable and let your true self show.
I know that life is short and all of that, but nothing needs to be rushed. Eternity is worth waiting for, especially when you are going to spend it with the love of your life.
***Picture belongs to jwcaketops.com