Relationships aren’t perfect. They aren’t all as jacked up as others, but there isn’t one couple that can honestly say that they have experienced no problems whatsoever in their relationship. A problem that can be hard to move pass is cheating. When you are cheated on your hormones go up in a rage and you can become an emotional wreck. So many questions run through your mind. Thoughts of what your next move will be, what you should have said or done, and if you will stay plague your mind. So what happens if you decide to stay? How do you move past this?
I have been in a situation where I was cheated on and decided to stay. I later chose another option, but initially said that we can work it out. The best advice I received during that time was that if I was going to stay, I have to let everything go. I cannot hold the cheating over their head. If I were to stay and I kept bringing up the past, we would never be able to move past it. It meant that I never really got over it and it would have been the driving force that, ultimately, would lead to us breaking up anyway. So I let it go, but I never forgot.
Besides letting the incident go, you have to talk. A lack of communication is probably what got you two in the situation in the first place. There needs to be clear guidelines established. I am not talking about in by 9pm, no calls after 7pm, phone checks and so forth. I mean that there needs to be a clear and defined understanding about what you two have going on and what is expected. If you are expecting to be in a monogamous, faithful, loyal relationship, then say that. Let the other person know that if they feel that things are not going well in the relationship then they need to come to you. Give you a chance to make things right before they decide to seek the fulfillment elsewhere. Also, define what is considered cheating. Let them know what you will and will not tolerate. After the talk, after you decided that you are going to let this stay in the past, you both work together…….TOGETHER…..to make this relationship work. A relationship cannot be built, maintained or kept happy by just one individual. There are two people in a relationship and those two people need to do their equal parts to maintain a happy home. If someone can mess up that happy home, then someone wasn’t doing their part.
Honestly, I hope no one has to experience this. I hope that if someone feels that they have the urge to cheat that they fight the temptation or leave the relationship before they partake in the act. If this does occur and you guys decide that your relationship is actually worth fighting for (for you, not for the kids, your friends or family, but for you!) then I recommend clear communication, equal work, defined lines and letting it go.