Everyone is different. For that reason, everyone has to be learned and adapted to. You have to learn their ways, tendencies, preferences, dislikes, habits and so forth. Not just so you can know them better, but to even decide if you want to be with them, around them, friends with them or whatever. What if someone doesn’t learn your ways? What if they only know you in some areas and not all? You teach them. Let’s talk about affection. You love to be affectionate and receive affection, but you aren’t receiving it. Then teach it.

        There are some people out there who are not big on affection. They were taught different ways to express how they feel. Buying  things, love taps, jokes or simply just giving you the time of day. I’m not saying that time and play fighting isn’t nice, it’s cute and greatly appreciated, but affection would be a bit better. The best way to begin to let someone know that you like affection is to give affection. It’s like respect, treat people how you would like to be treated. Give them lingering, soft hugs, massages, kisses on the neck, hand, and forehead, cuddle, run your finger through their hair or up and down their arm or leg. Little things are great to start with. By doing this, we want to hope that it will be reciprocated. If you have given subtle signs and have done things to them that you would like them to do to you and it doesn’t work, then it is time to get verbal. Tell them what you like. Go further and even tell them what you would like them to do TO you! This may even be seen as a turn on.

        I don’t advise throwing everything on them at once. Don’t hand them a list of what you want. No, take your time. Let them catch on and remember before you give them more. Hopefully, you are with someone who wants to cater to you anyway. This is just a suggestion of a way for them to cater to you. And if you are the one who doesn’t give affection, but want to start, just think of catering to your baby. Time, affection, appreciation (cards, flowers, candy, gifts, handmade things, significant tokens from dates or from their favorite place, cooking, etc) all go hand in hand and adds value to your relationship.

        On the other side, you need to think about if you can stay with this person if they aren’t affectionate. Some people never catch on, don’t want to catch on and just do things differently. Is the lack of affection a deal breaker? Is that the only way you know that what you have is good? Some people can’t be changed and won’t be changed. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it is something for you to think about. If you really think that he or she needs to change in this area of the relationship and you can’t take it if they don’t, then maybe you’re the one who needs a change. Cater to yourself and find what you are looking for.

                                                                                                                                                                            Sincerely,
                                                                                                                                                                                        SP


****These photos were borrowed from http://my.englishclub.com/profiles/blogs/the-power-of-sincere-affection and . Please click on the photos to redirected to the sites.

        We all know about the importance of brushing our teeth, so I’m not going to go there. Instead, I want to talk about something a little different…but still involving your mouth J

        You got it! Oral sex! Remember I told you guys about watching what you eat in the “You Are What You Eat” article? Well this ties into that story. While it is important to watch what you eat because you can taste like it, it is just as important (actually more important) to make sure that you keep little you clean and fresh! No one wants to put their face anywhere that smells bad, tastes bad, looks bad, is dirty or infected. I mean honestly, would you want to go into a VIP room if it smelled horrible, looked horrible and was filled with all kinds of preventable viruses? No! Well treat your privates like your VIP area. You want it to be inviting and clean. I’m not saying spread it or whip it out for the world, but make sure you are prepared for that opportunity.

        Ladies, your lil mama is a breeding ground for germs, odors and infections. It is very important that you become familiar with her so that you know when something is wrong. It sits in panties all day without oxygen.  Some of us wear panty liners, those of us who do not wear panties still have discharge, either way, fluid and bacteria are chilling out and growing. What you eat, sugar for instance, can also aid in infections. Your body naturally produces yeast alone, sugar helps your body produce more yeast which can lead to yeast infections if there is an overproduction. Washing with colored soap, fragrant soap, fragrant sprays and tampons or pads, wearing panty liners all day, wearing tight clothing, and wearing colorful underwear that does not have a white seat (the middle part of the panties that actually touch your lil mama) can all contribute to infections. Why add to this? Washing your lil mama thoroughly, regularly, with or without the intentions of oral sex, is highly recommended, especially before you are about to get a special treat.

         What is not recommended is douching. Gynecologists recommend that you let your body clean itself out and not douche. Douching can reportedly mess up your body’s natural pH level which can make it hard to detect changes in your body’s natural odor that can let you know if something is not right. Just use good ole’ soap and water. It always gets the job done.

 P.S. It might be nice to shape yourself up down there too!

        Men,……no one really likes sweat. Nor do they like tasting it! Just like women, it is easy for men to get infections too. It is important to pull the foreskin (I don’t care if you are circumcised or not, you all have foreskin when you are not erect) back and wash thoroughly around the corona (head) and in the meatus (pee hole). Make sure to wash your pubic hair as well. Hair carries odor and dirt and even if you cannot smell it from where you are, the person face to face with it can. Please get the testicles as well. Do not leave anything out. Avoid wearing sweaty underwear all day, tight underwear, and going long periods of time without bathing. You will thank me later.

        All in all, we want to make sure that we keep our privates VIP fresh. Wash, shave, be aware of your body changes and remember to clean yourself before the oral pleasure. That wash you did in the morning or last night is now null and void! Get the front and back. Put it like this, would you want to go down on anyone who wasn’t fresh and clean? Keep your hygiene up!

                                                                                                                                                                Stay fresh,
                                                                                                                                                                             SP

        A great and close friend of mine asked, how do you let go and move on? I see this question as a challenge, so I’m going to try my best to answer it. I think the answer is simple and complicated. There isn’t one basic formula that any and everyone can follow to make everything all better and help you carry on with life as if that person never existed. The hardest part is not being in love with them anymore and letting go of whatever happened between you two. I feel the solution to both is time.

        The reason why this question is simple is because the answer is one word. Time. You do not have to kill yourself, move half way around the country or join the circus. You simply have to give it time. You need time to figure out what you learned, what you want in a partner, if you’re ready for a relationship, time to heal and time to move on. It doesn’t happen overnight unfortunately. This question is also complicated because the answer is time. For everyone, the amount of time is different and a factor could very well be what you do in that time. Are you still communicating with them? Still talking about them? Still pondering over what went wrong? Still seeing them? Do you stay inside mopping? Are you dating again? Are you comparing everyone after to them? Is your focus still, consciously or subconsciously, on them?

        Another factor in time is what you two share; property, friends, and children. Sometimes, this may make it harder for you to let go. Mutual friends may constantly bring the ex up and property and children may cause you guys to have to see each other more than you would like. Fortunately, these things make it harder, but not impossible. And just because you don’t have these issues doesn’t mean it will be easy. The simple, complicated answer of time is all I can give you. What you do with that time and in that time is up to you. You can ride a bus to the end of the line, but it’s your choice to get off or stay on. You will get off when you are ready to get off. When it is time to get off. Rushing it will only put you off at the wrong stop. Take your time and watch your step.

                                                                                                                                                                Sincerely,
                                                                                                                                                                          SP

    You know, a wise guy once told me that a man will only do what you require of him to do. This means that, for instance, if you require him to open doors for you from the jump, he will. If you require him to call you every night, he will. If you require him to respect you like the lady you are, then he will. I don’t want to focus on just men because, if you really think about it, a woman would do the same things. You require her to call you when she has made it where she is going, she will. You require her to have the house clean, then she will. If you require her to respect you like the man you are, then she will.

    I say all of this to say, you guessed it, if you want your lady or man to treat you how you want to be treated or meet your standards, then require it of them. There is no reason why you should stay anywhere you are not happy nor, should you tolerate disrespect, especially inside of a relationship. The one thing I will note is that, this has to be made clear in the beginning. You can’t be eight months in and expect someone to change after you have allowed something to go on for so long. You set out what you expect of your partner in the beginning and, if they agree, then you have your match.

    No one deserves to be treated like a child, undermined, ignored, made to feel unappreciated, or looked over within a relationship. The constant arguing, being talked to as if you are getting on their nerves, and lack of respect, should not be tolerated. You have to address it as soon as it happens and make sure your man or woman understands that you will not have any of that. You are their significant other, not their friend, child, or worse enemy. You did not piss in their face and call it rain!

    At the same time, do not give anyone a reason to treat you this way. The constant bickering, complaining, picking, and dumbfoundness (making up words if you don’t mind) has to stop. People do get annoyed and have pet peeves so it isn’t totally unexpected for them to begin to want to be away from you, distance themselves or even ignore or talk down to you. Don’t give them a reason to. And if this is brought upon without reason, you do not stand for it! Address the issue head on before it gets worse.

    You were not put here to be anyone’s door mat or toy. Require the utmost respect within your relationship and you will receive it. Set your cards out and let them know all of what you want so that there will not be any surprises or sudden changes. A closed mouth doesn’t get fed.

                                                                                                                                                           
                                                                                                                                                                    With Love,
                                                                                                                                                                            SP


***This picture was borrowed from http://www.doseofchange.org/?p=121. Please click on the photo to be redirected to the site.