I love fresh milk! I can drink it all day if I want. But who likes spoiled milk? No one.  You know, there are countless songs and poems about treating a female good because once a good girl is gone, she’s gone forever. Honestly, I now think that line means that she is gone from that person forever. But when a good guy goes bad, you might as well fold it up because it is a wrap.

        Unfortunately, in my experience, guys are not the best or quickest at expressing their emotions, but that is not to say that guys don’t love hard, especially their first love. When a guy is truly in love, it is just like a child in love with their parents. It’s genuine and pure. When that love is tainted, it’s gone for a long time.

        I think that girls are quicker to forgive than guys. Girls seems to always find themselves back to being hopeless romantics believing that their true love is out there, while guys will continue to have the “fuck love” mentality and will withdraw themselves from intimacy in hopes of dodging another heartbreak. Guys will categorize all of the females they encounter and probably avoid “good girls” just so they won’t have to travel down that route again. They want to live more and not be involved in anything serious. If they do get into something serious, they either find a way out or end up messing up, not even thinking about what heartache they have caused. It is as if guys become foreign to love and will not think about renewing their passport for a long time.

        I am saying all of this to say that it isn’t always about you. We have to learn that if we have a good man on our hands then we should treat him like the man he is. Help him when he is down, don’t lead them on, and just support them in their good endeavors. Basically, you should treat your mate the way you want to be treated. I am not saying kiss ass, over do your part or put in more than you are getting out. I am saying to simply recognize when you have a good man on your hands and treat him as such. Don’t let the milk go bad and expect someone else to drink it. It will all come full circle eventually.

                                                                                                                                                                                Sincerely,
                                                                                                                                                                                          SP

        What if you had $100 from every check deposited into your bank account. You do this twice a month for about a year and a half and you figure you could finally get yourself something nice. Something you really deserve. You go to withdraw some funds and you find out that you can only get about half of your total amount out. So let’s back track. You put in money twice a month for over a year and when you want something back in return, you don’t even get half?? It’s about time to withdraw all of your funds and find another bank.

        This can happen in a relationship as well. You give and give and give, they take and take and take and never give as much as you. You are willing to do more than them, you pay more attention to them and their wants and needs than they pay attention to you, you give more time, make yourself more available than them and so forth. This happens more than often and most times can last longer than it should. It usually takes something that one partner really cared about that the other overlooked for something like this to be noticed. If this is something you experience, it is time to establish a tolerance level.

        In some cases, it isn’t that your spouse does not care or does not give as much as you, but instead they give more in other areas that you may not. Whether that is the case or not, if you see this as an issue, it is time to think about what are deal breakers. Is it ok that he or she does not dedicate enough attention to certain areas or to you? Can it be resolved? It is important to let them know that this is an issue. Never expect things to get better between you and your love if you do not address the issue and attempt to work out a solution. Rome wasn’t built in a day, but it wasn’t mastered without a plan in mind either. 

        If you have made it clear that there was an issue in your relationship bank and your withdrawal still does not equal your deposit, it may be time to pull out altogether. Some things cannot be fixed. Some things aren’t huge enough issues to leave over either, but if you feel that your bank statement is seriously making you unhappy and there is no resolution, I am sure that you can find a better, more secure home with another private bank.

                                                                                                                                                                                All the best,
                                                                                                                                                                                           SP


****This photo was borrowed from http://martyrpriest.com/tag/grace/ . Please click on the photo to be redirected to the site.

        Work all day, school all day, cleaning all day, cooking all day, taking care of somebody all day, busy all freaking day! Some of us get into a routine, a groove, a rut. Whatever you want to call it, we get so stuck in our patterns that we forget about ourselves. We bring work home, into the bed room, out with our friends and so forth, that we never really take time to step away. I think it is time you call in sick and change up your routine.

        Knowing what you are doing and when you are supposed to do it is great. Having an agenda and being organized is a great personal quality and even work quality. What isn’t good is when you have to pencil in time for your significant other. When you are getting ready for bed, but can’t put the laptop or cell phone down because you have to finish something up for work real quick. When you miss important dates and events or have to reschedule your off time because duty calls. I know that you have to work to sustain your living standards. I know that being a parent is a full time job. I know that you work hard at what you do so that you can be the best and you probably do not like leaving tasks undone. But what about you?

        What about dedicating time to spend with your friends so that you can relax? What about giving attention to your man or woman and making them feel appreciated and wanted? What about spending quality time with your family like you used to? What about bringing yourself down to Earth and letting work stay at work?

        That’s exactly what you should try. Once you leave the office, you are gone in every sense until the next work day. Do not reply to work related texts or emails (unless you are getting paid to) or work on projects and so forth once you leave the office. Your definitely want to keep it out of your bedroom. Give yourself a break from time to time to just relax and de-stress. If you are off on weekends, then you are off on weekends (unless of course you are like an on-call doctor or something). I know for some of us, our profession requires us to be more flexible and available, but the point I’m getting at is to not neglect yourself, your wants and needs, and those around you. Go out and live a little. A world does exist outside of work. Break a rule and diverge from your usual and do something a little unusual. I’m sure you will love it!

                                                                                                                                                                Sincerely,
                                                                                                                                                                           SP




****This photo was borrowed from http://mandicresswell.blogspot.com/2011/06/spa-day.html . Please click on the photo to be redirected.