There are things that can make or break a relationship. Technically, it is all up to the people in the relationship. What they will and will not tolerate. Some things are a bit more obvious. Because some people might stay with something I consider a deal breaker, I won’t name what some of those can be. Other things are just being petty or finding excuses. One excuse I hate to hear is long distance.

Some things in life pull people away from one another. Whether these reasons are good or bad, it happens. College, the military, careers, and even families are all valid reason why some people have to be separated for extended periods of time. Just because you are in another town, city or state, does this mean that your relationship has to be over? No, but it does mean that you two have to be really committed to making the relationship work.

I won’t lie; there will be people, places and things that will tempt you. You might become suspicious of your partner, read an article that says you are wasting your time, go to the club and be the only one leaving empty handed, or tempted in some other way. You may have people in your face who discourage long term dating and therefore encourage you not to do it. My opinion? That’s not good enough. We have things, people and places challenging us every day. Distance, any amount, should honestly increase your love and want for your significant other. If you are really in love and you really care, then stick it out. Do what needs to be done to make things work. I met this man from Paraguay whose wife is working in Africa. I asked how they made it work and he replied that they talk on the phone, Skyped and saw each other every three months. Miles apart, simply conversing was enough to sustain their relationship. Along with communication; trust, loyalty, and faithfulness all need to be established and maintained.

The only exception I can think of is when you are actually in love and when you only like someone. More effort would be put forth when your feelings are deeply involved. If you find yourself questioning if you should maintain a long distance relationship, then maybe your feelings aren’t as deep as you thought they were and it would probably be best to let the relationship go rather than to drag it out when you know what the end result will be. I also think it is noteworthy to add that distance is only living in two separate cities, towns, states or countries. It could be the time you guys spend a part period. A relationship can benefit greatly when every minute is not spent with each other.

This may seem hard, but when you are in love and you genuinely care for each other, anything is possible as long as it benefits the relationship and helps maintain a happy home. Some things are worth sacrificing. You just have to figure out what you are willing to give up.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           Sincerely,
                                                                                                                                                                SP



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        At times, it is much easier to be mad at someone, to cry, to fight and hold grudges than it is to let things go and forgive. Forgiving someone takes a lot of strength. You have to be strong enough to say, “Ok, you made a mistake. You messed up and we all mess up at times. I forgive you.”

        Relationships aren’t perfect. They aren’t all as jacked up as others, but there isn’t one couple that can honestly say that they have experienced no problems whatsoever in their relationship. A problem that can be hard to move pass is cheating. When you are cheated on your hormones go up in a rage and you can become an emotional wreck. So many questions run through your mind. Thoughts of what your next move will be, what you should have said or done, and if you will stay plague your mind. So what happens if you decide to stay? How do you move past this?

        I have been in a situation where I was cheated on and decided to stay. I later chose another option, but initially said that we can work it out. The best advice I received during that time was that if I was going to stay, I have to let everything go. I cannot hold the cheating over their head. If I were to stay and I kept bringing up the past, we would never be able to move past it. It meant that I never really got over it and it would have been the driving force that, ultimately, would lead to us breaking up anyway. So I let it go, but I never forgot.

        Besides letting the incident go, you have to talk. A lack of communication is probably what got you two in the situation in the first place. There needs to be clear guidelines established. I am not talking about in by 9pm, no calls after 7pm, phone checks and so forth. I mean that there needs to be a clear and defined understanding about what you two have going on and what is expected. If you are expecting to be in a monogamous, faithful, loyal relationship, then say that. Let the other person know that if they feel that things are not going well in the relationship then they need to come to you. Give you a chance to make things right before they decide to seek the fulfillment elsewhere. Also, define what is considered cheating. Let them know what you will and will not tolerate. After the talk, after you decided that you are going to let this stay in the past, you both work together…….TOGETHER…..to make this relationship work. A relationship cannot be built, maintained or kept happy by just one individual. There are two people in a relationship and those two people need to do their equal parts to maintain a happy home. If someone can mess up that happy home, then someone wasn’t doing their part.

        Honestly, I hope no one has to experience this. I hope that if someone feels that they have the urge to cheat that they fight the temptation or leave the relationship before they partake in the act. If this does occur and you guys decide that your relationship is actually worth fighting for (for you, not for the kids, your friends or family, but for you!) then I recommend clear communication, equal work, defined lines and letting it go.

                                                                                                                                                                                With Love,
                                                                                                                                                                                           SP