1) Arch that back!- There are some people who just hate to do it doggy style. Whether you are entering the front or back from this position, this position gives you great access to the G-spot and the A-spot. The problem most people have is that they do not arch their back or do not keep their back arched. If this is a problem for you, you can try one of two solutions: lay the front of your body down leaving only your rear-end in the air with your legs spread open, or lay down completely flat with one leg hiked up. He will have to lay flat on you in this position, but the feeling will become so heightened that you may end up tooting it up and land in the doggy position.
2) Pre-heat- I touched on this subject over the 2013 summer. It is important to do foreplay of some sort before intercourse. Everyone isn’t over ready. Some require prep time so it will benefit you both if you prep first. It could also be that the penis is too big. Foreplay will relax the muscles in your body, make you more aroused and can expand your vagina making it easier on the entrance. Using a vibrator or dildo can help as well. Leave it in for about 15 minutes or so a day to get your vagina and vaginal muscles used to the size. Get the size most equivalent to your partner for best results. A little lube never hurt either.
3) Irritated- The vjj or other entrances could actually be a bit irritated from your clothing. Tight pants, tight underwear, colored underwear seats (the part touching you vjj), or even scented and colored soap, pads, pantyliners and tampons can irritate you and/or lead to an infection. Another possible reason could be an allergic reaction to food, medicine, new products or detergent. Give these items a break and try applying some natural oil to her at least once a day to relieve the irritation or chaffing. The gynecologist may be the next stop if the irritation doesn’t go away.
4) Get off your butt- Sitting down too much, like at work, can inflame you below the belt and lead to discomfort during sex. Take breaks and walk around more often to alleviate some of the pressure.
5) Thirsty?- Not being wet or lubricated can cause a lot of unwanted friction. This could be due to a lack of arousal, low estrogen after your period, bad reaction to the type of condom or the pill (believe it or not). Foreplay can help with this as well as lube and a different kind of condom. Try polyurethane, lamb skin or condoms without spermicide.
6) Stress- That damn thing keeps getting in the way. While stress is distracting and can harm your health, it can also take the fun out of sex. It can make your muscles tense and so can exercising, falling on your butt or pulling a hamstring. Try to relax. Do something you consider relaxing before sex, get a massage, use a hot washcloth to sooth you or even play with you vibrator.
7) Full- a full bladder or rectum can make things very uncomfortable and that feeling of peeing during sex is enough to make anyone back away or want to stop. Keep yourself regular by eating healthy and drain the main vein before the act.
8) Don’t touch me- It is possible that you have a heightened sense of sensitivity when it comes to certain parts of you. Hitting the G, C or A-spot repeatedly can put you at a point where every touch makes you want to buckle and you just can’t take it. Not that it hurts, but it feels a bit weird. Before getting your menstrual cycle or while ovulating you can also experience sensitivity or cramping. Your best bet is to do positions where the one in pain is the dominant one so that you can control the depth of penetration.
9) See a doc- There could be something medically wrong with you. It may be best to seek a doctor to find out what the underlying issue is. Dyspareunia, or intercourse pain, can be caused by many things. Here is a list from WebMD.
I know some of you didn’t expect me to get this deep or didn’t know there could be real reasons for why she’s running from the D. Tone your ego down a notch and try some of these things. Hope your lover finally gets off the track team.
Happy Sexing,
SP
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/painful-sex#slide-1
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/sexual-health/vagina-pain-during-sex
http://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/guide/female-pain-during-se
***Updated 2/6/13